We had just bought a house and the kids had just started at yet another school. We talked and prayed and decided that we needed to stay put until we knew, for sure, what the best move was. We felt like we had made mistake after mistake, and we just wanted our kids to be ok, you know?
So Russell moved to Texas to stay with my parents, who still lived in McKinney, and I stayed here in Springfield with the kids.
For a year and a half, we lived this way. We saw Russell five or six times in that year and a half, and I carried on here by myself. Russell worked at Expedia and thoroughly enjoyed his job, and he also started delivering pizza for Dominoes, mostly to pass the time, I think.
Eventually, we knew we couldn't live like that forever so Russell approached his company about working remotely so he could be here with us. They approved, with the understanding that he'd be required to travel back to Dallas when needed, along with the other travel he was doing. That was still worth it to us, and he loaded up and came home!
Since then, Russell has truly thrived at work, and is an amazing trainer! He's traveled all over the world, to places including England, Prague, Malaysia, Thailand and France. In face, he's in London as I type this! He also travels all over the US, mostly to Bellevue, WA. That's where Expedia's headquarters are, but also to Dallas, Las Vegas, Miami, NYC, Washington DC and others. He's truly seen so much, and loves his job! It's a wonderful blessing to love your work, and we're so thankful! That said, he IS gone a lot, and sometimes I miss him terribly. Between working multiple jobs, the year and a half in Dallas and all the travel he does now, it can truly be said that I've spent much of my parenting years on my own.
Please understand that I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining! I have a wonderful marriage, a comfortable home and amazing kids! I'm just trying to lay an honest foundation here, as the whole point of this story is honesty and finding the ability to thrive again. And the honest truth is that I've continued to struggle. I'm not sure if it's depression, it's just...struggle. It's not being able to, or even having the energy to keep a clean house, to cook (ever), to control my eating habits and exercise. It's me just living with the idea that I'll never be what I'm supposed to be.
Well, I don't want to live like that anymore. I want to fight my way out of this feeling. I want to be the girl I used to be, who believed she could do and be anything. The girl who felt in control of her own life and her own feelings. I KNOW I can get there again, and I'd love for you to join me on this journey! Most of what I do will be on Instagram, just because it's easiest, but I do hope to blog sometimes, too. It'll be a long road, I'm sure, but one I'm positive is worth taking!
So let's get to it!
PART 8 COMING SOON!