Saturday, March 6, 2010

Being a Mother

Today the kids and I went to the zoo in Dallas. We had a really great time, rode the carousel and the monorail, and spent time in the children's' play area. We even fed nasty little worms to the birds in the aviary. SHIVER
It takes about 35-40 minutes to get there from here when there's no traffic, but today we seemed to really move slow. The kids were watching a movie, so I stuck one ear bud in my ear and turned on my ipod. I happened to be listening to the October General Relief Society meeting when President Uchtdorf spoke about happiness and creating. I've heard this talk before, read it before, and seen the link the Church did on youtube, but for some reason it really spoke to me today.
It's interesting how sometimes I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job as a mother, and other times I feel like I'm falling so short. I think really it's that, in some areas, I AM doing a really good job, and in others I AM falling short, so it just depends on what I'm focusing on that day.
I have so many things that I want to improve about myself. Things I need to change. The problem is, where do I find the strength? I think about things, but then never seem to be able to put them into action.
You know what I need? I need to get away for a couple of days, all by myself. No husband, no kids, just me. I need to go to the temple, sit somewhere and really search and ponder and pray. I need to rely more on my Heavenly Father. I need a "mighty change of heart".
We really did have a fun day today, and check this out: I didn't even take a stroller! It felt so strange to unload all of my kids and then leave the stroller in the van.
They're growing up.
I hate it.
Man, it's easier!
I will say that a couple of them got pretty whiny toward the end and wanted to be carried. Then I cursed myself for not bringing the stroller....
Ah well, it was still a great day!

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