Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My Goodness...

My Chandler

He started 6th grade this year. In this area 6th grade is the first year of Middle School. Yep-Middle School. He still seems so young to me.

Anyway, school started about a month ago. Already, Chandler has had three detentions.


Oh, you heard me, Chandler has had three detentions. Now, in his defense, only one of them was behavior related. His ELAR (English/Language Arts) teacher had evidently asked him to settle down. He was working in a group and she (the teacher) came over and asked "Have you finished your questions?" to which Chandler replied, sarcastically, "maybe". Let me say that I know my child, and I know that he did NOT mean to be disrespectful, but was trying to be funny. I did, however, support his teacher in giving him a detention because I feel like he needs to learn that there is a time and place for that kind of humor. So there's that. The second detention was due to not turning in his homework. In this district, that's not an option. If you don't turn it in, you get detention and do it at school. OK, so fine. So today his Assistant Principle called. (I shouldn't even KNOW her yet!) She was very nice, but explained to me that Chandler has been "having some problems getting to class on time." Tardy. Late. Apparently, several times. So-another detention.

Now, I'll just tell you, I'm really having a problem with this. Not my Chandler. I'm struggling to know how to handle it. I have to find a way to help him to realize that Middle School is not Elementary School. That he has to take it seriously. That it is HIS responsibility to know what his homework is, and to get it done, and to get it turned in. That it is HIS responsibility to know how much time he has between classes and to get to each one on time. That I'm not going to be there all the time to keep up with it all, HE has to do it. How do I get him to understand that? I don't just want to "punish" him, I want to TEACH him.

It may be silly for "ask" for comments, especially because I don't normally get many, but HELP!


Eden said...

Check out Lara's post
We took her idea and tried it with Kaylyn. But had to modify it. So I guess I'll post our version later today.
But here's what appealed to me - it's a positive thing instead of punishment. She's earning her privileges, I'm not taking them away.
So go check out http://motherswhoknow.blogspot.com later today. I'm heading to the church for a workout so I'll have to do it later.
Good luck! And know that we love Chandler too and know he's a good kid!

Joella said...

Well, I have been thinking about this for the last couple of days. I'm not sure really what I would do because as you know each child is so different. We have one child who does there homework but "forgets" to turn it in. I'm not sure how that happens when everyday at 8:45 everyone is turning in their homework. So although this is not positive reinforcement as some would suggest, we have told him that if he can't remember to turn in his homework than we can't remember to take him to his after school activities. We are firm believers as I think you are in consequences for your actions whether positive or negative. It only takes one time in our case to make our point and then for the most part we haven't had to worry about it again. Also I was thinking about his humor. I have another child who uses his humor in class and depending on the teacher depends on how it is handled. Some teachers appreciate the humor of a child and they like to banter back and forth with them but others don't. But I think the most important thing is that he hasn't gotten detention for the same thing so maybe he is learning. My husband is much better at this but he always uses analogies to sports, career, or scriptures to help them see why what they are doing might not be okay. Anyway--long enough and as I said to begin with every child is different so the real answer-- pray about it.

Tori said...

um, i may not know alot on teaching kids, but i know from my own experience that he has to learn good habits now, or when he is older, in high school, if you dont have your homework, you get a zero. and in my middle school years, i know from experience that developing his homework skills can come in handy, because if he doesnt, it really showes up in his grades. and i also know it is really hard to change that. now i never had behavior problems,but my brother did. and they just have to learn to get over that on their own,there isnt toooo much you can do. and as for getting to class on time, just make sure he hurries his little bum up, idk take him on runs or something. i never hada problem with that earlier. but in high school, they have NO tolerence for latness, they sweep you. any way, he is a smart kid, and if he learns how to do that effectively, he will be really successful. love you and let them know i love them too, see you in a month!!!!

Ashley said...

Thanks, guys! We're working on it all...

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